Youth. Full of vigor and know-it-all. Innocence and good spirits. Drunken mayhem. I reckon all of you have had your moments when it comes to alcohol. That weird first feeling you get when you approach drunkenness. The light head, the smile that easily appears on your face. The mischief you get up to. The horrible horrible mornings after of throbbing headaches. They are consoled though by nice greasy breakfasts filled with slow movements and lots of coffee. Just to start again Saturday night. There will be plenty of time to sleep it off on Sunday, but watch out if it is a long weekend, that Sunday gets pushed back to Monday. That's ok, though. The weekend is here Monday or Tuesday will look after and worry about that. Right now. It's time to go to the Pit or the Cottage, any bar, the Shack, the Party Barn, Let's get wasted.
It was great to have somewhere to crash when you were up to no good. A bed to sleep in was even better. Melissa(Mike's girlfriend) had a cottage on pigeon lake near Bobcaygeon. For three summers in our teens it was like we lived there every weekend. At least that is how I remember it. We could arrive whenever. Usually on a Friday night, if not, Saturday for sure. We would sit around a fire and drink. Sit inside and drink. We all got along rather well so there wasn't fights or too many blow up. Just mayhem, especially if some one was sober enough to drive. Sober enough meant you didn't have anything to drink. The odd time we would walk. I am more apposed to this now then I was way back then. One night we walked a couple of miles to a golf course. The next day the cottage was adorned with two flags. One from the sixth hole and the other from the ninth hole. We also liked to go into town at two in the morning to get something to eat. The only place that was open was Tim Horton's . We would get sandwiches and coffee. Coffee was a good choice I think. What better way to end the night is to drink a stimulant so you can stay awake longer to drink? While ordering my food I would pull down the back of my pants so that only my friend and the people behind me could see. They would snicker at my bare ass. I don't know why it was so funny. Wait. Yes I do. Live bum is always funny.
We used to frequent bars a lot when we were young. We all lived in the country, so we had to drive a ways to hit the bars. This also meant that one of us had to stay sober. It was rarely me. This may sound odd, but at first we went to bars to dance. Yes dance. Of course we would drink too, but dancing was also a big part. There was something about hearing a great song at an almost ear splitting volume. It made you move your feet, with arms and body soon following, jumping up and down like a tribesmen. Then it moved to just drinking. I have gotten into a little trouble whilst drinking. No fights though. That was left to Steve and Mike. I have been thrown out of the same strip joint in Whitby twice. It was a hot summer Friday and we had just gotten off work. We went to the Lion and the Unicorn to eat and drink some sweet beverages. During my meal I downed two pitchers of ale. Smoking and finishing our drinks on the patio someone(probably me) suggested that we go to the Royle, the local strippers. All in agreement, we set off. Once in to this...interesting establishment we procured some more tasty beverages and sat right up front of the stage. We must of pissed off some of the strippers because we barely acknowledged their existence talking rather loudly. That is about all I could remember until one of my mates tapped me and said, "wake up, Jer. They're gonna throw you out." Apparently I had fallen asleep in the front row facing the stage. Sure enough one of the Bouncers came over and asked me to leave. The poor girl on the stage. No one was watching you. That had to damage her self esteem. Or maybe it was that I was asleep and couldn't buy anymore drinks. Whichever. I will save the other time I was kicked out for another time. Maybe when I can piece it together.
Mainly it would be just silliness and a little petty theft. Silliness like, drinking at the Royal York in Lindsay. When we were leaving we were all hungry so we thought we would hit McDonald's. I wanted a Mcflurry. We sauntered in. When it was my turn in the queue I walked up and ordered a plain Mcflurry. Plain? A plain Mcflurry would consist of just vanilla ice cream. Why not just order a sundae? It would of been cheaper. So they gave me my plain Mcflurry. Probably thinking drunk idiot. Oh, they haven't seen anything yet. After receiving my Mcflurry I turned to my friends and other patrons and asked, "would Superman eat this?" Turning to the McDonald employees, "Would he?" Then spun, waltzed out of there not even looking back. On the way back to the van I thought it would be hilarious to climb the fence and shake it violently. My friends coaxed me down and we were on our way home. Superman wouldn't of eaten it because it just stayed in the cup holder all the way home.
One night after drinking in a bar in Lindsay we went to the Country Style to drink some coffee and smoke. Mike and I were drinking at the bar while Steve stayed sober to ferry us around. In the donut shop Mike and I drank our coffee and talked up Steve that he was the drunkest of us all and we bragged that he was driving us all home. We left there and were off to the gas station. Steve fueled up and Mike and I went into the store to get some snacks. When we emerged from the store two cruisers had boxed Steve's car in and were administering him a breathalyser test. He passed. He had not touched a drop. The cops then turned to Mike and asked if he was driving. "no." Mike said as he slid into the passenger seat. "You
I am not sure how to end this. These are definitely not all the stories or how many adventures we had. I guess i would have a whole book if I did that. Maybe more will come, when I remember them. I remember waking up with cracked ribs, but not too sure on how I got them. Some adventures were with or in cars and pissing off friends. Don't worry they are still friends today. Yah, that is enough for now.