Saturday, 13 October 2012

Blog and Vlog

A couple of weeks ago I ventured into the terribly exciting world of Blogs, I still don't know what blog stands for and I am not going to look up what it means either. For all intents and purposes it could mean battery log or even bacon log. Mmm I like that one. It sounds more appealing. Where is my sandwich...? If I had to venture a guess, it would of been a loser named Bobtana who liked Star Trek and thought it would be cool to write down his thoughts like a captains log. You know what would be cool? If Bobtana's name was Brutus or Banjo. Or maybe some Buttwad wanted to convey his/her thoughts and would hope that there are some idiots out there stupid enough to read the crap(Dear valued readers, I assure you that I do not consider you idiots. I believe you to be in the 90 percentile of, Jeremy) Well this Buttwad has some stories and thoughts to convey so you idiots get ready.

A blog. A way to tell people what is going on in this 3/4" concrete skull of mine. Well, almost. Will people read it? I hope so. Everyone has an ego and enjoys it being stroked. The next one is will people like it? I am sure that people will like it, my Mommy and Megan tell me I am funny or was that handsome? No, that's the dog. Nuts, I'm in a lot of trouble. It seems pretty easy. It's like writing essay's back In high school. Except this is interesting and something I want to do. No, let's read Shakespeare because the style and spelling is so relevant to today. It just seems like if a stupid person wants to feel and sound smart all they have to do is quote Shakespeare. I am not going to quote him so relax, unless you count "the" and "is". Though thanks for giving me something to write about(English class). And I was taught essay's to prepare me for this. I guess there is some useful things in school. I write this not to become famous, but just to write and I hope that others may enjoy the stories or little activities that go on around the house. Not all of them, I plan on the blog being G-rated. For right now it is easy to come up with the titles and the guts that lay within. The world opens up and there is an inexhaustible well of stuff(for lack of a better word) and I try my best to paint what it shows me. If I was really painting it it would be just sticks. I am a horrible artist.

 Vlog. This I know. It's a video log. Why anyone would put their face on camera on purpose is beyond me. They are so vacuous, "I like stuff, ya know. And Brittany said that Sabrina was like yah for sure and sometimes I can pass a 36" long tube right through one ear an' out the other and nuthing happens. Well, I giggle a little." The guys are not much better. "Yah! I killed 50 dudes today, Bra's! (explicative) Yah! Then I looked up chicks cause I couldn't possible talk to a real one face to face cause that would constitute going outside and getting my thumb out of my ass!"  Well, they aren't all like that....I'm sure... You may say the reason I wouldn't do a Vlog is because I am too ugly to be on camera and would cause children to cry and pregnant woman to have their babies early. You might be right, but I like to think that Video can be used for so much more precious things. Like your son riding a bike without training wheels for the first time. Or your daughter screaming with utter joy in the leaves for the first time like it was a Christmas present she has always wanted.

 I only have a little advice for this, not Vlogs, but Blogs. Vlogs, Who cares? Keep spitting out your nonsense about what cheese is better than which or  who you hate and what he wrote about you(in general) in his Blog. Just because you can't articulate what you are thinking into writing doesn't mean you have to punish the rest of us, It's easy, words and punctuation. I will even help you. Just highlight all of what you have written and delete it, and go back to whatever empty thoughtless thing you were doing. Uhm...Oh, yeah. Sorry for the digression. The only advice I could give you about Blogs would be not to be dark. Dark is easy, anyone can think of bad thoughts. Try making someone happy or laugh...or worse yet,think

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