Saturday 20 October 2012

The Portrayal Betrayal

 Everyone on the planet sees things differently than everyone else. It might be fractionally different, but still there is at least a difference. I like chocolate ice cream and so does Megan, but I also like pralines and cream and she would rather eat dead bugs. Most of the time people are entitled to there own opinions even if they are wrong, Some people like abstract art and think it's genius. That is their deluded stupid opinion and that's how they foolishly perceive the world. Megan and I perceive the world in different ways too. Hers is more cynical and having fun at others expense.

 Watching the evening news one night the anchor was bringing us a story and he must of been the bane of Megan's existence because she said, " what is this nerdlinger going on about?" the nerd was wearing glasses. I shuddered at what she must think of me. The "nerdlinger" was going on about a bunch of refugees in some middle east country. They went to one of them and he was describing on how they were on the run from some war. "Loser.Get a job" she told the man in tattered clothes and then giggled at how funny she was. A little harsh I thought, but I laughed a little. It's best to give her attention because if you don't and she notices it, she will do everything in her power to get that attention. She will just keep going and going until I acknowledge her. One time I didn't laugh at one of her stinging little quips she harangued me to no end. "That was gold, baby. Pure gold." she waved her hand. "Ah, my friends would think that was hilarious."

 Driving is an even better treat. Sitting behind someone turning left and there is obvious room for the person to go and they don't, she'll say "C'mon fatso you're driving not walking so move it!" It is even worse following a guy that is going slow. "I would think someone would wwant to get home fast to see their boyfriend." as she grips the steering wheel hard. More than once I have had to yell at her to warn her of someone ahead who is braking or turning and she is fust looking around everywhere but the road, Then there are the times she stops at a red light and looks both ways then goes through. I will ask, "What are you doing?" and she'll just laugh, "Oh yah."

 Once sitting down at McDonald's at lunch with Megan and Reagan we noticed a man with a cane crossing the parking lot. He was having a hard go, but he managed and easily maneuvered up the one stair. He looked like he was alone when he sat down behind us, but Megan noticed. The next time I looked there was a rather large woman sitting with him. Megan had seen that I noticed and piped up."Yah, we didn't see her. She must have just flew in."  She has a ton of little observational quotes: "Look at those greasy Italians.", Drunken Irish potato blanker.", "Is that a Brit or a horse?" or even seeing a truck buried in a snow bank, "You stunned newfie." And don't get on her bad side. Every year a parade goes by just south of our house and she doesn't like how it blocks traffic in and out for a couple of hours. It keeps her from going out and getting her hockey cards. Well this year she has a plan to get back at them. A couple of weeks before the parade she asked out neighbour Bill and my father for some live traps. She used then around our house and out in the woods near Darlington Park. The night before the parade she stashed the filled traps in the brush in  Rundle Park which lines the parade route just south of our house. When the parade was in full fling she went down there and released the traps. Four scared skunks ran from their prisons and out into the middle of the parade. People were screaming like they were shot and the smell. She was happy for weeks after.

 Now this all seems pretty harsh , but it must be told.  

 DISCLAIMER!!!!

The preceding statements may or may not have been true and I cannot confirm nor deny that the roles were reversed to protect the truly  guilty. I can't be held accountable for my writings and or my actions. What is this, Canada?












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